"One day I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."
Six months, guys. Six months. It's been one hell of a year. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. I've been built up, I've been torn down, and I'm still here. To give a brief summary, what I said in my previous journal is true, xXIttlesXx and I are in the process of getting a divorce. She is now living with her aunt in another state, and probably won't be returning to deviantART. I won't go into heavy detail. It was a simple matter of her coming to the decision that she didn't really want to commit. It hurt, more than I ever thought I could hurt. I didn't want it, but it is what it is..."It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are vanishes, like breath on a mirror..."
But, in this, I came to a realization about myself and my life. My self-esteem has never been high. I've always felt myself to be worthless, even on a good day. Having a woman who consistently complained about things not being good enough for her did not help that. When she left, I was a mess. I thought my life was over. Then, I realized something--I wasn't the one who left. I'm not the one who's filing. I fulfilled my covenant before God to the best of my ability, and if she can't do the same, it's not my fault. I don't need her to remind me of something I should have known from the beginning--I am a good person. I love her, and I always will, but if she cannot value what that means, there is someone out there who will. If I can thank her for anything, it's that she taught me what unconditional love is. She may not have it, but that doesn't matter. God doesn't love us because we are lovable, but because he is so capable of loving. It should be the same in a marriage. While it was painful, I am better for it. I've never felt happiness like I do now. I have peace like no other--and I am changed..."We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people, all through our lives, and that's good. You've got to keep going, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be! I will not forget one line of this. Not one day, I swear. I will always remember when BRANDON was ME."
So, guys, I'm back. I'm really back, and I'm better than ever! I've got some stuff ready to be unveiled, plus a new series set in the Star Wars Galaxy. I won't go into detail, but I'm betting you're going to like it. Even as I type this, I have a new one-shot ready to be posted, as well as the next installment of Tails & Cosmo: Darkest Night
! I will be doing rolling releases over a period of 1-2 weeks, with one completed work in reserve at all times, so I should be able to release something even when I haven't been working on anything. The future looks bright, guys, and I'm looking forward to every second of it! I'm so excited to finally be back doing what I love to do, entertain my readers. For now, this is TheFicDoctor, signing off. Peace out, guys!